An Open Letter on my Return to Logomancy

Dear Loyal Readers,
Please accept my heartfelt apologies.  I realize you come to this weblog expecting to find scholarly treatises on the subject of Zemblan Grammar.  The title promises you that, and I should do nothing less than provide it.  Of late, however, I have been distracted by election-year politics and bar-bathroom obscenities, which have (most notably) converged in such posts as the below.  Commenting on Florida’s "chronic wangularity," while it may elicit the type of half hearted giggle one hears when an SNL skit runs too long, is  a far cry from the normally acerbic wit you have come to expect from me.  I should have focused my energies on the morphology of the term wangularity itself, [wang (slang word for penis) + ~ular (adjective ending) + ~ity(noun ending) = wangularity: the quality of being penis-like] or its etymology, which I confess remains a mystery.  A riddle wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in a profila Whoops! There I was, about to get distracted again.
I promise I will do better.  I shall not rest until I discover the source of the word wang as slang for penis.  Or, for that matter, the etymology of such terms as tweeter, chubby, unit, member, Johnson  (or its Lebowski-dubbed-in-German/Nihilist equivalent, Johannes), wick, or old chap.  I have been remiss, friends, but worry no more: I am back. 
Yours Most Cordially,

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