The five-day forecast yesterday called for “morning showers,” “chance of rain,” “rain likely,” “morning drizzle,” and “chance of showers.” That’s all slated for less than a week, folks. As you may note, they’ve left out “scattered showers,” “morning showers,” “torrential downpours,” “depressing drizzle,” “mysterious fog,” “biting needles of ice,” and–most notably– “thunder showers.” Although we have a fairly specific vocabulary for discussing precipitation here in Zembla, the “thunder shower” doesn’t figure in it. The last time we had any thunder, in fact, the baffled news teams were reporting, eyes wide with incredulity, that the noise was so loud they could even hear it in the studio. Sheesh. Please await with bated breath my forthcoming report on why Zemblans are also retarded about snow.