today's uncomfortable neologism

pachinko (pa-CHIN-ko):   n.  vagina, esp. slang

Don’t blame me for this one.  OK, then, fine, blame me.  It’s just that some certain people seem, like, uncomfortable with discussing women’s special areas in public.  This term makes it all the more humorous and all the less frightening.  Case in point:

Dude: Blah blah blah politics the pope bitches and hos I hate Ani blah blah blah…
You: Oh yeah?
Dude:  Yeah, you heard me.
You: Pachinko!
Dude: [Stunned, embarrassed silence.  Eyebrows.]
You:  [Ha! Ha! I win! I win! IwinIwinIwinIwin!!!!] Yes, pachinko.
Dude: I concede; everything you say is absolutely correct [please stop saying that word!].

For that, pachinko, I thank you.   Just try it ladies; you’ll be glad.

UPDATE: One of my friends told me the reason he hated this word was the possibility that he might be in an intimate situation and accidentally say [ed. note: or think] the word "pachinko."  If this ever happens, I shall consider it one of my greatest contributions to American society, and I shall demand from him some sort of, um, remuneration

Recognize.

12 Comments

  1. isn’t pachinko that game on the price is right where you drop the thing and it bounces it’s way down into one of the slots below and you win some money or a lifetime supply of rice a roni, the san francisco treat?

    Reply

  2. scratch that, i was thinking of plinko.

    my dog is having some female troubles (puppy vaginitis, for more see my journal) and it’s hard not to laugh when the vet talks about her vagina…still i feel like a dork when i giggle and want to ask her to call it a fifi or hoohoo or cooch. cause those are somehow less funny than vagina.

    Reply

  3. Pachinko seems a great way to talk about your sex life and be able to get away with it in mixed company, as in, “I had some great pachinko last night.”

    Also, if I never hear the term “puppy vaginitis” again, it will be too soon.

    Reply

  4. Hmmmm indeeed, hungbunny. How do you seem to know so much about pachinko?

    And also, from that site: “Most of the balls just fall down the machine and disappear, but a few find their way into special holes.” And: “Pachinko machines can be found in pachinko parlors which are spread over the whole country [….] One can recognize parlors easily because they are bright and colorful. Inside a parlor it is loud and smoky. Women and men are playing pachinko and it is said that there are even a few pachinko professionals.”

    And, indeed, Mel, that is plinko, but it seems somehow similar, no? Puppy hoohooitis?

    Reply

  5. Um, so I thought this post might be dangerously close to the “it was funny, but you had to be there” variety of blogging. APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG.

    After fielding calls from SuomiChris and Zerlesen all day, and after suffering their cruel, cruel laughter at the timestamp on the post, I had to hear that the “conversation” part of the post “like, makes no sense. no, none at all.”

    Well, I have news for you, boys. That conversation is a fairly literal transcription of what went on at our table. Just in case you forgot.

    PACHINKO.

    Reply

  6. People are like that. For example, the other day I was just innocently discussing that if, as is reputed, men taste different after eating different things, whether women do too. For some reason, my friends wanted me to shut up…. weirdos.

    Reply

  7. You know, Mr K, Glamour Mag had a piece on that topic this month too. Not like we read that around here. If I have a beef with them, y’all do too, ya hear?!

    Reply

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