i'm delegating

The Dachshund assists me in grading essays. He says, “This paper blows! She so
totally needs to learn what a transition is, and also not to, like,
suck so much. I mean, damn, girl, you just typed out some words,
didn’t you? All words and no ideas. Kids these days.”


  1. Little Egon: wise beyone his years!

    He needs a little red pen in his paw, so he can write, “This paper blows!” across the top.


  2. just tell her your dog ate her homework. Cause it sucked!!!
    And, just for your reading pleasure, a stellar sentence from one of my students’ descriptive assignments i gave them today:
    ?You can just come to this spot and relax all day; that is just how nice it is. If you walk to the other side of Bondurant Hall, it is also a nice setting.?
    (This after over an hour of sensory impression discussion and practice.)
    Wow, that is so descriptive. I feel like I’m there. I mean, this student really knows how to transport a reader.
    Grrrrrrrrr, freshmen!


  3. You should train him to dump on crappy papers. Then you can write comments like:

    “Your paper was so bad, even my dog used it to wipe his butt. What kind of crap are you trying to pass off on me here, anyways? Bah, it doesn’t matter ’cause now I’ve passed the crap back onto you. Dumbass. Mommy and Daddy can’t save you from me. You got an ‘F’.”


    “I’m sorry, I said write the paper in English. You’re writing ability is worse than that of an illiterate chimp. Chump. You still get an ‘F’.”

    That would be so totally appropriate.


  4. Doh! How embarassing that I should write “You’re writing ability… after passing off all those insults…

    Meh. They still get an ‘F’.


  5. I am just doing a quick round of everyone’s blog after finally getting the bloody Internet in hospital and am happy to see that you also have a cute little companion. My little fella stands by me, so I can’t wait to hear more stories about the intelligence of your little one.

    They still get an F? You rock


  6. AB– Once, in high school, my best friend got her bio term paper back with a hairball from our teacher’s cat on it. I think he was delegating, too.

    R– I wish they could still get an F. Honestly, the papers that bug me the most are the C papers. I’m glad your cat got to visit, by the way!

    T– har har, verrrry funny. That is my adorable, teeny puppy. He is small. And short.

    HB– man, it is difficult to clip black toenails. You can’t see the quick at all. If I try to make them too short I can end up cutting him. I am afraid I will be delegating on that as well.


  7. I apparently forgot to respond to half of these comments. Stupid drunken blogging!

    P–I am still training him how to write with a ball-point. Right now he can only pee the letter “F,” and even still it is a bit hard to read. He misses, sometimes, too.

    C– I love that student sample. Especially how she not once tells you anything about what the place looks/sounds/smells like. Nothing. Super evocative, that. Sheesh.


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