I think I have finally pinned down the reason I can’t quite understand a significant segment of the population here in New Wye: no one pronounces consonants. It’s as if they extract only the vowels from their words, ending up with a chain of mumbley sounds, and it takes me a few seconds to reverse-engineer what they have said, during which time I stand there looking blank and glassy and squinting ever harder at their mouths until I finally give up and, for the millionth time, ask apologetically, “Pardon?”
It should be noted as well that I am from the South. I have a damned southern accent myself; I just don’t know what kind of hooey they are talking here, boy ah tell you what.
Raveling Out 
They used to could talk right.
On another note: The Texas Panhandle and its anti-grammatical denizens can go right to hell. Not that it’s a long drive, mind you.
Here’s a fun idea: ask someone to pronouce ‘syzygy’ and wait for them to implode…
Well, at least they speak a dialect of sorts of your native language in New Wye… Where I’ll be stomping about, English isn’t much welcome…
How’s that stain doing?
T — Ah, Texas. I’m sure I would be having as much trouble there, too.
HB — That would be fun, especially since when they DO bother with consonants, there seems to be a bit of a lisp issue. Thithi’y.
J — I would almost rather this were another language; at least there would be some excuse. I am getting better at it, though.
Re the stain, it now has some friends, as the cat puked 3 times this morning. I think the stain and the cat are in cahoots.