Why Do You Hate Me, SYTYCD?

I was watching the SYTYCD two-hour performance finale last night with my friends S. and B., and we were bullshitting during the commercial break about what the Twitch and Joshua dance would be like. During the performance finale, see, each of the top four dancers performs with each of the others, meaning that for the only time on the show each season, there’s a two-girl dance and a two-guy dance. We were pretty damned excited about the upcoming Twitch and Joshua dance, since they are two of the best hip-hop dancers on the show ever. By “we were” I mean “I was” and by “pretty damned excited” I mean “really fucking psyched.”

I really like both of those guys, and I’m thrilled that they made it to the top four, which I don’t think anyone expected. Twitch especially. I love that dude. (Twitch, call me!)

I was certain we were in for what I called “possibly the most badassed demonstration of hip-hop badassedness of all time ever.”

So when the show came back on and they announced that these two were dueling it out via Russian trepak, I was certain it was a very bad joke. Remember last season, how they kept saying that Nigel and Cat were going to dance together in the finale? And they kept teasing it and teasing it and teasing it? And then it just turned out to be a cartoon? I mean, they have a history of making bad jokes drag out far too long.

I was sure the long training montage showing Twitch and Joshua learning the trepak was all a part of the joke. Surely.


I shook my fist at the screen, yelling and threatening violence to Nigel Lythgoe and all the other twat producers who had robbed me of the hip-hop brilliance which I had expected — nay, deserved! — and which they had cruelly denied me, and then I wept bitter tears into my glass of Pinot.

Then I called in and voted for Twitch anyway, because I love him.

Did you watch the show? Who are you rooting for?

And don’t forget the results finale tonight, 8E/7C.


  1. I don’t watch the show, but I did watch the clip, so I don’t know which guy is which, but I do have to say that was some pretty f’ing impressive dancing, though there were some lulls in the performance. The dude in the blue pants, with the high spreadeagle jumping…what the hell!!! Those were too high for humans! That was awesome!. And those wackadoodle turns where they’re like horizontal to the floor flipping around about six feet off the ground? What??? And the guy in the blue pants at the end doing those monster turns??? Sweet!

    So I was actually impressed.


  2. Yeah, I have to reluctantly admit that it was pretty great, but I still wish it would’ve been a badass hip-hop battle.

    Red pants is my BF Twitch (on the left in the picture) and blue pants is Joshua (right), who wound up winning. I liked him, too, so I’m not too terribly disappointed.


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