I would like to send you something for the holidays — yes you! You there with the face!

See, after several months (maybe even a year?) of feeling stagnant and without much new music to listen to, I have lately had a whole mess of good music fall into my lap.  Through a combination of copying things from friends, buying new albums, and just being given really great recommendations, I have been feeling lucky to have a whole bunch of new music that I’m just mad about.  And do you know what that means? It means a mix is in order!

Can I just reminisce briefly about the timeless art of mix-making? You don’t mind if I get all nostalgic here?

In high school, I used to love staying up all night in my room, shoe boxes of cassette tapes arrayed around me in a careful mess (I knew where everything was, but to the casual observer it would have seemed like chaos), making mix tapes in my old dual-cassette player/recorder.  It was so cool, that boom-box, all clear plastic and visible colored wires and components within.  Back then you could make a 120-minute mix if you bought the right kind of tape, and each side of the cassette provided its own blank canvas, essentially allowing for two hour-long mixes if you were so inclined. A mellow mix and an angry mix! A romantic mix and a sexy mix! A dancing mix and a napping mix! All on one tape!  Indeed, making mix tapes used to be an art form.

Not so with the iTunes playlist, I’m afraid. There’s no careful consideration of length (the length is limitless!) or pacing (just hit the shuffle randomizer!). There is no careful labeling of the cassette itself or ingenious collaging of the enclosed jacket.  Where, I ask you, is the human touch?

This is why I still occasionally like to create an almost-old-school mix.  I can’t make them on cassette any more, but through the technological magic of CD burning (I am so 1998 with that high tech shit and I know you are jealous, bitches) I can make a mix designed to be played in a specific order, self-contained, and embodied in a physical object. That’s as close as I can get.

I am currently in the process of making a mix featuring all of my recent favorite songs.  No duds here, just the tracks I keep repeating over and over again at the gym, in the car, or while wallowing under a blanket and throwing shoes at the wall. THE GOOD SHIT. Trust me. I ain’t gonna give you no schwag!

WOULD YOU LIKE A COPY OF THIS MIX?

If you would like a copy of what is sure to be the awesomest mix ever, all nicely wrapped up just for you and mailed to your doorstep (or post office box), please let me know!  I will of course need your mailing address, and I realize it might seem sketchy to give your mailing address to some anonymous internet blogging lady who might not even be a lady after all. I promise I will only use it for the purpose of mailing you this CD. (Unless of course I get caught up in some international intrigue and an insurgent operative ties me to a chair and threatens me with bodily harm unless I NAME NAMES, DAMMIT, in which case I can offer you no guarantees.) Anyway, if you would like me to send you a copy of this mix, please don’t post your address here!  That would be foolish!  Instead, email your mailing address to me at zemblangrammar[at]gmail[dot]com  — even if you know me in real life, please make sure I have your current address!

I will send the mixes probably in the first week of December, complete with a secular, generic “Winter Season” greeting card and all S.W.A.K. just for you. Yes, you there. So let me know, people!