Exam-Week Grievances, They Are Many.

1. The final exams for two of my classes are now due, and yet some students still have not turned in the previous essay assignment.  One even responded to my email about this assignment with the following: “Uh, I can’t find essay four…”. OH REALLY.  Well I guess I “can’t find” your passing grade, nimrod.

2. I definitely just typed “assing grade” above instead of “passing grade.”  Freudian slip?

3. I have gotten my teaching assignments for next year (after a bit of confusion, of course, only after a bit of confusion) and I have been assigned yet another different theme for my writing sections — a theme I loathe and detest with the fire of ten thousand suns. I want to die just thinking about it.

4. I had an 8:00 exam to proctor today and of course, OF COURSE, I couldn’t get to sleep at all last night, so I am operating on two hours of sleep and a smoothie that claims to have an “energy booster” contained within its mangoey depths.  All of this seems very dubious and unhealthy.

5. I am working so far below my normal levels of cognition that my brain feels all sad and slow and paralytic and empty and my eyes feel dry and squinty and confused.  Is it possible for an eye to feel confused, you ask? I submit to you that it is.


  1. Proctor sounds very close to proctology…

    Anyways, summer is starting soon. Surely there will be a reprieve for you, no?


  2. I always thought it was invigilate, not proctor, but maybe that’s an English thing. Surely the loathed and detested topic can’t be as bad as all that? Come on, you know you want to share it with us all. Or at least get more options with where you can take it.

    And the confused eye? Oh yes, certainly. I’m quite sure it’s how most people end up not sleeping alone after a night at the pub.


  3. They assign themes? Does that mean every essay from every student is on the same topic all semester? I would die. I actually forbid the most popular term paper topics (no dolphins!).
    And courage, it WILL end. At least it did here.


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