1. The final exams for two of my classes are now due, and yet some students still have not turned in the previous essay assignment. One even responded to my email about this assignment with the following: “Uh, I can’t find essay four…”. OH REALLY. Well I guess I “can’t find” your passing grade, nimrod.
2. I definitely just typed “assing grade” above instead of “passing grade.” Freudian slip?
3. I have gotten my teaching assignments for next year (after a bit of confusion, of course, only after a bit of confusion) and I have been assigned yet another different theme for my writing sections — a theme I loathe and detest with the fire of ten thousand suns. I want to die just thinking about it.
4. I had an 8:00 exam to proctor today and of course, OF COURSE, I couldn’t get to sleep at all last night, so I am operating on two hours of sleep and a smoothie that claims to have an “energy booster” contained within its mangoey depths. All of this seems very dubious and unhealthy.
5. I am working so far below my normal levels of cognition that my brain feels all sad and slow and paralytic and empty and my eyes feel dry and squinty and confused. Is it possible for an eye to feel confused, you ask? I submit to you that it is.