Best. Email. Ever.

Dear Dr. Vague,
I was just wondering if you had finished grading the final yet? Im sorry, its just that I need an A really bad, and waiting on the grade to show up is nerve racking! haha If you don’t, it is totally fine, I know you probably have a million to grade!
Let me know!
Lacy Q. Student
P.s. I just wanted to thank you for being such a great teacher! It really helps when I have a teacher as kind and understanding as you. I think you have had so much patience with our class, and that is very nice of you. Thanks for such a rewarding semester! Hope to see you around! Oh and LOVE your haircut!! super cute for summer!!


  1. Ahahaha.

    When I was tutor, I had a visit from the parents of a student, was offered money and had vague intimations of “favours” proffered. I am sure this tactic is as old as dirt.

    Glad she liked your hair, though. At least you know you’re still “hep to the trade”!


  2. If I’d got that email, I would have mailed back, ‘compliments won’t do, kid. You’ve got to make with the moolah, lots of it, and quick.’


  3. Oh this is excellent. Especially good to see assessments on yr hairdo emerging from a place of such transparent disinterestedness.


  4. Yeah, write her back and let her know that the mere fact she isn’t even aware of how transparent she is makes her a great candidate for a failing grade.

    Also, aren’t there applications out there that will send an email to someone well into the future. I’d love to see her get a copy of this somehow 5 years from now….



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