Best. Email. Ever.

Dear Dr. Vague,
I was just wondering if you had finished grading the final yet? Im sorry, its just that I need an A really bad, and waiting on the grade to show up is nerve racking! haha If you don’t, it is totally fine, I know you probably have a million to grade!
Let me know!
Lacy Q. Student
P.s. I just wanted to thank you for being such a great teacher! It really helps when I have a teacher as kind and understanding as you. I think you have had so much patience with our class, and that is very nice of you. Thanks for such a rewarding semester! Hope to see you around! Oh and LOVE your haircut!! super cute for summer!!

5 thoughts on “Best. Email. Ever.

  1. John May 7, 2009 / 2:06 pm


    When I was tutor, I had a visit from the parents of a student, was offered money and had vague intimations of “favours” proffered. I am sure this tactic is as old as dirt.

    Glad she liked your hair, though. At least you know you’re still “hep to the trade”!

  2. TimT May 7, 2009 / 8:58 pm

    If I’d got that email, I would have mailed back, ‘compliments won’t do, kid. You’ve got to make with the moolah, lots of it, and quick.’

  3. Alexis May 7, 2009 / 9:06 pm

    Oh this is excellent. Especially good to see assessments on yr hairdo emerging from a place of such transparent disinterestedness.

  4. Oedipa May 8, 2009 / 1:20 am

    Yeah, write her back and let her know that the mere fact she isn’t even aware of how transparent she is makes her a great candidate for a failing grade.

    Also, aren’t there applications out there that will send an email to someone well into the future. I’d love to see her get a copy of this somehow 5 years from now….


  5. nailpolishblues May 10, 2009 / 6:29 am

    Dear(dumbarse) Student,
    I haven’t had a haircut in six months. Thanks, though, for paying your usual amount of attention.
    Sincerely yours,
    etc etc

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