From reality television, the apex of evil: a teach
EXAMPLE: “We went on a teach this morning with Benny Ninja.”
From blogs everywhere: gifted me with
EXAMPLE: “My mom gifted me with a front porch hammock.”
I’m sorry, but that is not how those words work at all. I believe you are looking for the words lesson and gave.
Raveling Out 
I suspect the “gifted me” thing oozed over from the shadowy and word-bloated world of law. You gotcher tax law, see, where the IRS doesn’t care a whit whether you were given something or not, but whether it was, by law, a “gift.” This leads to much talk in estate planning of “gifting” parts of estates, but somewhere some idiot with a “blawg” (ugh) must have taken the ugly and pointless phrase out of its proper context and it caught on.
That’s my guess, anyway.
And I’m sorry about that.
DANG LAWYERS! Got to rooin everthang.