It’s Sunday night, and usually on a Sunday night I am cursing the heavens and shaking my fist in anger at the prospect of the coming Monday morning (and the lingering consequences of Saturday night). Sunday never seems to count as part of the weekend. Sure, it’s technically a weekend day and some religions even go so far as designating it a “day of rest,” but let’s face it: Sundays are far from restful.
This evening, however, I think I feel a little rest coming on and I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve been stressing about this coming week for a while (it involves the frantic finishing of one course and the nervous beginning of another), but I think that for once in my life I have managed to turn my stress into positive energy: I actually finished (almost) all my prep and grading yesterday, a fact which I can barely believe. Today all I had to do was grade a handful of papers and email the grades to our program coordinator. Done! And! DONE!
I can barely believe the freedom I feel, settling in for the evening with no chores weighing over my head! I.. well.. I think I kind of like this feeling. I think I could get used to it. The palpable lack of anxiety is a rare treat; I tell you.
It seems the whole early-to-bed, early-to-work, frequently-to-the-gym schedule I have been doing the past month has given me ridiculous amounts of energy. It’s kind of sick, really, that I feel so wrong when I don’t get to the gym. I’m embarrassed to tell you that I can rarely even enjoy a nap on the couch with the dog on my belly and the gentle, comforting hum of the television in the background. I used to love that! SOB!
There’s only one problem: I have this whole evening of freedom and no more desire or ability to laze on the couch like a no-‘count ne’er-do-well, so what should I do with my time? Even if it were feasible to spend the evening with a bottle of fine small-batch Kentucky Bourbon (i.e. if it were not a school night), I don’t even have much desire to do that anymore. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM. This whole healthy and virtuous living thing is so confusing. I suppose I will go read a book. Stupid books.
P.S. Did the title of this post remind you of this? I really hope it did.