I bought the cat a Furminator, which enabled me to comb off enough fur from her gigantic corpus to knit a second cat. CAT FACT!

The cat went to the vet today and received many and plentiful injections. The vet agreed with me that the cat has gotten far too portly. CAT FACT!

The cat and I went home with a bag of prescription cat food for fatties. FAT CAT FACT!

Hmm. This looks to be a giant bag of cat food. But wait, what does that say up there?

Oh. "Overweight Management." I see. Well. If that's what you think of me...

Sniff. Sniff. Perhaps I may deign to consume some of this. IF I MUST. What are you waiting for, foul human? FILL MY BOWL!

After a lengthy inspection of the bag and some initial suspicion, the cat has begun snorfling her fat cat face down into the food bowl like she is bulking up to play the feline Bridget Jones. CAT FACT!