Five Years of Whingeing Come to This: a "Best" Posts List

I’ve now been writing here at Zemblan Grammar for five years and I can hardly believe it.  As you all know (and as one of my taglines states), it’s not about grammar.  What I have discovered, finally, after going through five years of posts in an effort to make some kind of hits list, is that it does seem to be about food fairly often.  I didn’t think I really wrote about food that much, but even if that’s true it’s still undeniable that many of my favorite posts have been about food.  How odd.

At any rate, here’s a list of some hits of the past, roughly in chronological order. These are all either posts that I just plain enjoy or ones that chronicle something important in my life or ones that should tell you a bit more about who I am – or maybe just who I was at the time.

I am Not Part of the Solution – As you can see here, I’ve often been pretty frustrated by certain elements of teaching.  Even then, though, I was aware that my snarky attitude wasn’t really helping.

Open Letter to the Federated Sandwich Makers of the World – My deep love of sandwiches, my deep hatred of messy cole slaw and lettuce.

Open Letter to My Heartburn – I really fucking hate heartburn, don’t you? But is your heartburn a character in a David Lynch film?

The Hippy Series: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three – Three separate posts chronicling some of my observations during my many years spent living among the hippies. Yes, they are also apparently about food.

Ain’t No Thing but a Chicken Wing? Surely Not. – In which I delve into more of my many psychological issues surrounding food, specifically why I hate touching it.

Case of the Conscientious Bandage – A slice of my grad-school nightlife: drinking too much and being clumsy and unsafe. Yup.  Lucky I survived those years.

Open Letter to Popcorn – More food issues.  Popcorn takes the special place at the top of the list of foods I really fucking hate.

Hand Me Down – An old post imported from another old blog (so one many of you may not have read). It started out being about a hand-me-down tee shirt and ended up being about a late, great friend of mine.

Ninety-Nine Problems and This Couch is One – “I’m the [lady] who sucks, plus I got depression.”

Case of the Canned Asparagus – Canned food, especially asparagus, is notorious in my family’s kitchen.  My brother and I were just discussing canned asparagus the other day, in fact.  Read about it’s mysterious allure/repulsion here.

It Don’t Take a Token to Get on the Soultrane – I tried, I really tried to write about my love for bebop.

On Love, Tulips, and a Clean Bar of Soap – Why I love being single.

Some People Ain’t Got No Couth – Ask Culture vs Guess Culture, or why I am a conversational wimp.

Anniversaries – My 3-year blogging anniversary, getting hit in the head by a tree, and moving across the country (twice).

Open Letter to My Twenties – Some of the things I said here are still true! Seriously, though, the thirties continue to be the best decade ever. So far.

Back to Black – Getting undepressed: I recommend it.

Grade Inflation: Safer than a Punch in the Neck – A little slice of life at my new job, and why my job security relies on convincing the little whippersnappers of their own brilliance.

Case of the Scintillating Acid Flashback – How I discovered I had migraines.

On Love, Food, and Business Opportunities – Another rumination on love and relationships that turned out to be (once again) mostly about my food issues.

An Explanation of the Title Zemblan Grammar – Just what it says, dude.

Easy Passive-Aggressive and Anti-Social Behaviors you Can Try Today! – Or, with the satire stripped away, “How to Piss Me Off.”  And of course, I posted this passive-aggressively on my blog, which is read by everyone I know who acts this way but whom I don’t want to complain to because I am, as previously mentioned, a conversational wimp.

This is Actual: An Extravaganza of Semester’s-End Student Emails – Another slice of life at the new job.  My whippersnappers are sometimes just not to be believed.

The Project – How changing what I ate changed everything about my life (yes, more food issues).


  1. S – Ah, yes, food and poop. No one can say I don’t write about the essential commonalities of our shared human experience. Seriously, though, I STILL have shitty plumbing. Just, ah, figuratively this time.

    T – Wait till you find out that I also dislike chocolate and ice cream. But ESPECIALLY chocolate ice cream.


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