Consider Yourselves Warned

I’m no fashion expert, to be sure. My wardrobe consists of a lot of plain jeans, trousers, sweaters, blazers, and a few skirts and dresses.  I can tell you what it does not consist of, though. It does not consist of skinny jeans, high-waisted jeans, or pencil skirts with pleating at the waist.

These items have been making a big fat comeback lately, as evidenced not only by their presence in the Magazines and Big Cities of Fashion, but also by their popularity among the young coeds of Wordsmith College — not a fashion forward bunch, I assure you.  If these unflattering retro-eighties styles can make it here, they can make it anywhere.

And do you know what this means? Do you know what surely must be coming next? Pleated, tapered pants. PLEATED, TAPERED PANTS.  Mark my words, people; they are coming. This calls for vigilance. CONSTANT VIGILANCE.

10 thoughts on “Consider Yourselves Warned

  1. jair August 26, 2009 / 9:10 pm

    I loathe and detest the skinny high-wasted jeans. My university is in the front of the pack fashion-wise (except for myself), and they have been here for quite some time. If you’re ever over this way, and want to punch a few necks, I think they’re basically begging you to do so.

  2. clarabella August 26, 2009 / 9:55 pm

    Duly noted. I shall keep an eye out for them over here on our campus as well, although our co-eds will be hard-pressed to wear anything but their running shorts.

  3. Kristen August 27, 2009 / 10:26 am

    Tell me more, Mad-Eye!

    But seriously, here’s my belief (and I write about fashion for a living): Fashion can be divided into two realms: Things that are fun and trendy, and things that LOOK GOOD. Only occasionally do things fall into both categories. Some people can rock the fun trendy stuff, and some people think they can, but when they look at pictures in 3 years, they’ll be mortified. You might not make Page Six for wearing a flattering dress and adorable sandals instead of a corset, skinny jeans and shooties, but most of us will look better in the first outfit now and won’t laugh at ourselves when we look back in a couple years. The End.

  4. Vague August 30, 2009 / 2:55 pm

    J – I’m sure they’ll be on to the new trend soon enough! (And if I’m ever in the area, I’ll keep my punchin’ arm ready.)

    C – Yeah, it’s still running shorts, like 90% of the time here. But when the sun goes down, the sorority girls get their skinny jeans on and hit the town. It’s frightening.

    K – I completely agree – there will be no embarrassing shooties pictures of me to burn in the future!

  5. jair September 2, 2009 / 9:53 pm

    I may have found the new one – leggings that have stitching on them to make them appear similar to jeans.

  6. Vague September 2, 2009 / 9:56 pm

    OMG say it’s not true! KHAAAAN!

  7. Danimal September 3, 2009 / 9:50 pm

    Shooties? Should I ask, or thank my crotch I don’t know?

  8. Vague September 4, 2009 / 5:50 pm

    Ugh. They are shoe-booties, like boots that stop at the top of your foot. People wear them, inexplicably, with skirts, as if to show off how ugly they are. Here you go.

  9. Ruby September 5, 2009 / 1:28 pm

    Oh, the HORROR!!!!!!

    http://bit.ly/JZGEa

    Just shoot me now. Those things are bad on skinny people…on big people? Where the hell am I going to buy clothes?????

  10. Vague September 6, 2009 / 10:57 pm

    OMG. Seriously, I … don’t know what to say. The last place that should be selling pleated, tapered pants is Lane Bryant. C’mon now! Ladies of Curves need a fit that flatters, people! And honestly, be she size 2, 12, or 22, no woman is going to be flattered by those pants. Yeeesh.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s