Seriously, WHAT Did I Do in a Past Life to Deserve Plumbing THIS BAD?

There are so many things to say about Spring Break that I don’t even know where to start. Let’s begin with the fact that on Tuesday night, my plumbing messed up again. A drain in my water-heater closet backed up, flooding the (carpeted) closet with dirty water, and had to be snaked.

[82/365] The Closet of Doom

Well. They did not snake it well enough, apparently. The exact same thing happened again today. Let’s call it a Tuesday Tradition, shall we? Aren’t you jealous of my festive Tuesdays? Today’s smelly incident happened just after I came home from the gym (where I had done yoga class, lifted over 7,000 lbs in weights, and run three miles), and, due to having to wait on the maintenance guys and on the Roto-Rooter Dude they eventually called in, I did not get to shower or eat lunch for about four hours.

People, I have one thing to tell you about me: when I am that dangerously hungry — when I am as hungry as a person is who has done all that exercise while fueled only by an English muffin with almond butter and it is now 4:30 in the afternoon — it is best for people to stay the fuck away from me. Unless, I mean unless they want to be killed and eaten. People are organic and plant based, right?

Y’all, it was ugly. As soon as I was free to leave and procure lunch, I jetted over to the sandwich shop as soon as possible and then basically inhaled a foot-long veggie sub in, like, four minutes, hands all shaking and eyes glazed with fire. That sub was probably the best tasting thing I have ever eaten.

And because I am still recovering from the psychological trauma, I am making pizza for dinner. Yes, pizza, and it’s not even a long-run day, which means I am breaking my pizza tradition. I happen to think the (unwilled-by-me) institution of this new Tuesday Plumbing Tradition is reason enough for that, however.

It is time for me to sign off and work on some course prep for tomorrow, but I will come back and regale you with more fantastic tales of my week soon! In the mean time, how are you?


  1. Dear GOD. This is more than just being a sheisty plumber in some past life; you must have drowned some babies and puppies in raw sewage or something. JEEZ!
    OR, maybe this means karma owes you a house built over hot springs, thus using them within the house, with claw-footed tubs & NO water bills?
    Okay, I’m hoping for the latter. I am SO SORRY. I know how much plumbing problems suck. Also, I get really cranky when hungry as well, and I know that after-exercise hunger too. Vicious. Glad that sandwich shop was close enough to keep you from ravaging the whole town.


  2. Now, that second option sounds pretty great! Honestly, if I ever get a decently paying job, I’ll be able to afford to move into a better maintained apartment. Please, economy, please.


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