Blame the Swedes

Good morning, people of the Internet. This post comes to you via my iPhone, as my netbook is temporarily kaputt, leaving me without a computer in my office. Lame.

So anyway, if you follow me on Twitter you already know that I mysteriously hurt my back sometime on Monday and I have been on muscle relaxers since Tuesday. It’s fun times around here for both me and my students, let me tell you. I’m in the office right now for student meetings in which I am supposed to be helping them revise their essays but I mainly just mutter at them confusedly/confusingly.

Currently I am just waiting for this bullshit problem to go away because until it does there is no running no biking and no swimming for me. In more immediate terms, I am also waiting for this dose of muscle relaxer to kick in so that I can perhaps sit more comfortably for the next four hours of student meetings I have before I can go home.

How did I get hurt, you ask? Some kind of overzealous sporting activity? No. Apparently, the injury is due to the fact that I am “not 20 anymore.” Yes indeed, as you get older you too may find yourself unable to sit comfortably or get into or out of your car. Old age is fun!

The doc also told me not to sleep on my stomach as this hyperextends the back and is very bad for you. No problem, I thought, I don’t sleep on my stomach. Of course, the next night I realized that I do in fact sleep on my stomach. I think I start out on my side but then roll over at some point, because I kept waking up and finding myself on my stomach despite my best intentions and then having to wrestle myself over onto my side again in an ungainly and painful manner.

Sleeping on my back? Not an option. It feels like I going to die of suffocation under the weight of my own boobs.

You know what else, though? In addition to sleeping, I’ve also been spending hours in bed every night reading. On my stomach, kind of propped up on my elbows, back completely hyperextended. Reading. Effing READING. Also known as MY JOB AND MY LIFE. It looks like I have Stieg Larsson to blame for this as it’s been his lousy, addictive novels keeping me up for the past couple of weeks. Never trust a Swede, as any Dane can tell you.

Let this be a warning to you: reading can be hazardous to your health! Especially if you are not 20 anymore.

5 thoughts on “Blame the Swedes

  1. clarabella April 1, 2010 / 12:07 pm

    I love the word “kaputt.” Lousy Swedes. Keep it to yourselves!
    Anyhoo, hope your back feels better soon. I’m still nursing “The Soreness” of building the fence, myself. Of course, I have more work to do tomorrow, so that should be fun. Oy. Let’s chat sometime this weekend (if you’re not too doped up on muscle relaxers, that is. Heh.)

  2. Brandon April 1, 2010 / 9:58 pm

    My legs are currently aching because I made the mistake of letting a 20 lb cat sit on my lap while I was doing some reading for a Political Science class. Cross-legged position + academic tomes + fat feline = ouch.

  3. Kate April 2, 2010 / 8:17 am

    C – Thanks. I’m so impressed by you and your dad building a new fence, BTW. (But I bet Nico The Escaping Hound is less pleased….) And yes, we are definitely due for a chat soon!

    B – See? Reading did you in! Damned books! And damned cats, too.

  4. MC Etcher April 3, 2010 / 11:41 am

    Sorry to hear about your back! Feel better soon!

  5. Kate April 5, 2010 / 6:27 pm

    Thanks – I am feeling MUCH improved.

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