I am working from home this afternoon (the dog needed me to be here), so I thought I’d share my productivity tips for those of you who also work from home, either on the regular or only on occasion. You’re welcome.

Step one: Brew a big pot of coffee. Let’s just face it; you’re not going to get any work done without a delicious legal stimulant. Mmmm, stimulating.

Step two: Do not change into more comfortable clothes. No yoga pants for you.  The nagging waistband of your jeans or trousers should remind you to suck it in, sit up straight, and get shit done.

Step three: Get a helpful assistant, ideally an underpaid one. This is Egon the Dachshund. He is here getting both on-the-job experience and earning college credit.

Step four: Get music. “Eye of the Tiger.” “Work Bitch.” That sort of thing. Remember, as Britney says, “You wanna live fancy? Live in a big mansion? Party in France? You better work, bitch.” Don’t think too hard about the fact that the work you’re doing from home is unlikely to result in a big mansion or a French party.

Step five: Think about all the steps you are undertaking in order to be productive during your work-from-home afternoon and decide they would make a good blog post. Write said blog post.

Step six: Celebrate your productivity. Look at you, getting shit done! You made a pot of coffee and wrote a blog post! Wait, what do you mean, that’s “not your job” and you have “real work” to do? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?