My first new executive order: Able-bodied people only going up or down 1-2 floors are not allowed to use the elevator in our heavily trafficked 10-story classroom building.
Anyone waiting to enter the elevator will be required to first stand clear of the doors while allowing others to exit.
New tax levied, creating a second set of elevators that would be designated for use exclusively by middle-aged men who like to stare at women up and down the lengths of their bodies. Save money by servicing these elevators infrequently.
Job creation: addition of an express line at the coffee & bagel shop counter for people who want only to purchase self-serve drip coffee. Anyone ordering espresso drinks, bagels, pastries, or sandwiches will now be required to use the excruciatingly slow regular line.
Bonus job creation: hire more people to actually make the sandwiches.
Strictly prohibited: speaking to people who are wearing earphones.
Violation of any of these laws would be punishable by a strict fine, with funds going to a different progressive charity each month.