Frankly, I would love for someone to encourage me to go to bed at 7:30 pm.

Further to my post of last night:

How do you get two almost-four-year-old wild monkeys to stay in their bedroom after bedtime? I will list below things we have tried, in no particular order, and briefly explain why they did not work:

  • Following a consistent bedtime routine at a consistent time, making sure they have everything they need, asking them to stay in bed. A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA YOU MUST BE NEW HERE
  • Door Monkey (to keep door locked). Successfully keeps them in the room but then they just yell for us. We took it off permanently a few months ago to give them more bathroom independence but now they just run around and come into our room all the time, etc. Obviously. Why wouldn’t they?
  • Making a list of “Sleep Goals” (paraphrase of Weissbluth’s “Sleep Rules”) This involves, like, an actual decorated poster listing the goals, talking about the goals, rewarding them for doing the goals, gently reminding them of the goals every time they come out of bed. (Goals were: 1) stay in bed, 2) stay quiet, 3) no climbing, 4) try to fall asleep.) This sort of worked for a while but they don’t care anymore.
  • Begging, bribing, bargaining, threatening, screaming internally, silently weeping behind a locked door. Results pending.

Ironically, the most popular post on this dumb blog is “Sleep Training Twins Using the Ferber Method,” which worked beautifully for two six-month-olds. I’m at a loss as to how to handle the current reality. If you have any advice or commiseration for me, you can leave a comment or just @ me.

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