Two New "Expresses" I Hate

From reality television, the apex of evil: a teach

EXAMPLE: “We went on a teach this morning with Benny Ninja.”

From blogs everywhere:  gifted me with

EXAMPLE: “My mom gifted me with a front porch hammock.”

I’m sorry, but that is not how those words work at all.  I believe you are looking for the words lesson and gave.

Word Lists

Favorites in Sound and Meaning:


Least Favorites, Because Apparently I Hate the Letter U:


Words my Students Need to Look Up:


Typos I Cannot Stop Making:

sotry for story
explainging for explaining

And as a Related Bonus, my Least-Favorite Currently Overused Phrase, Because Please Stop Trying so Hard:

an historic

What are your words?

Don't Believe Me? Look it Up.

deep seated vs deep seeded – The first one is correct. A feeling or attitude is seated deep within you. No gardening is involved.

faze vs phase – Two completely different words! I know, right? Don’t let it faze you.

cache vs cachet – Having a hidden cache [sounds like cash] of cash might give you a little cachet [sounds like cash-ay].

stage left vs house/camera leftStage left is left from the point of view of the stage, house or camera left is left from the point of view of the house or camera. I haven’t heard ANYONE use these correctly in AT LEAST the last year, no exaggeration.

prodigal – The prodigal son wasn’t prodigal because he came back. His behavior before he returned was prodigal. It has nothing to do with returning.

"neologism": not a neologism

You know what I hate? Fake neologisms. You know, when someone uses a word they haven’t used before, and they think they have made it up, so to preempt any comments, they say something like “yes, I know that isn’t a word”? Only it really is a word and they are too ignorant to know that and/or to arrogant to look it up in the dictionary? That thing? I hate that.

uh ah oo ay?

I think I have finally pinned down the reason I can’t quite understand a significant segment of the population here in New Wye: no one pronounces consonants. It’s as if they extract only the vowels from their words, ending up with a chain of mumbley sounds, and it takes me a few seconds to reverse-engineer what they have said, during which time I stand there looking blank and glassy and squinting ever harder at their mouths until I finally give up and, for the millionth time, ask apologetically, “Pardon?”

It should be noted as well that I am from the South. I have a damned southern accent myself; I just don’t know what kind of hooey they are talking here, boy ah tell you what.