Better Complaining through the Power of Footnotes

Too many things are annoying me today – most of them are small (had to request my drink be re-made at the coffee shop1, previously acceptable social plans were altered to be made less acceptable, etc.) and should therefore not really bother me, but I think I have reached some sort of saturation point where I am both in the final few sessions of my first summer class and also in the final few days before my second summer class2 and thus in the throes of inadequately finishing one while inadequately preparing for the other and it is making me a little on edge, shall we say, and if the length of this sentence is any indication I am nearing some sort of ominous scheduling-related brink.

1On the subject of that coffee-shop request, please allow me to tell you why this is infuriating to me.  I always request my iced coffee the same way: with soy milk.  “Iced coffee with soy,” I always say.  The cashier indicates this by scrawling a letter “S” in the “Milk” field on the plastic cup, which the barista then interprets, time after time, not as “soy” but as “sweetened.”  I am forever being served black, sweetened iced coffee when what I wanted was unsweetened iced coffee with some goddamn SOY MILK.  I mean Starbucksi is one of the few places in this godforsaken sown where they actually serve soy products; the least they could do is, you know, actually serve it.

iDon’t even start with me on the subject of Starbucks.  We in New Wye are lucky to have even that.  It’s not like Zembla, where a person in need is never more than arm’s reach from a coffee shop, coffee bar, coffee cart, or coffee kiosk.  Lord knows it is not like Zembla.

2Awesomely, these two classes actually overlap for a week.  Won’t that be a thrill? This unusual overlap was not only the source of my payroll problems but also, at least tangentially, the source of faulty assumptions in social event planning.  Everyone thinks I’ll be off when I will in fact be not only working that week but working double duty.  I could explain all this but why? Explaining it has not proved useful once yet this summer.

And how are you? Do you have any rants you’d like to share?


  1. Yeah – I got caught in a farmers protest complete with riot police and protesters! The riot police wouldn’t let me through and I HAD to get to my car. There were Cold Beverages waiting at home. I was all:

    Do you know who I am? I am Dr. J and I work for LuxBank, yes, LuxBank and you have to let me through! Stand aside!

    FOUR hours later they let me through I left the city centre. Another hour and I was home. So much for pulling rank.


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